Talladega Nights --- Old School Movie Review #9

I have things I could be doing that are far more productive. And let me tell you, if I were a real and normal individual I would not be doing what I am about to do:

I was "indoctrinated" this weekend into a slightly cultish movie of the area I am now a part of. (AKA: I would not understand half of the conversations in the air if I did not partake myself) This one is one of those movies that looks like it is so beyond retarded that there should be no room for humor in it. Honestly though: I was impressed by its shear stupidity. Stupid humor is an art form too, and they nailed it. They also nailed a white trash culture that is so fascinating to those of us in but not of their world. Loved every second, I have to admit. Sue me.

Best scene: the family sits down for prayer and he prays to baby Jesus. They all get in a fight over who to pray to and that Jesus had a beard..etc. "I am saying grace! When you are praying, you can pray to baby Jesus, or toddler Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded Jesus..." The scene takes quite a long time and is horrendously irreverent. But so funny.

Best line: (a gay French car racer) "My husband Gregory and I wish for that which every other couple wish for: to tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet." I may or may not have tinkled a few and had to rewind it thrice to be sure that is what he said.

In my humble, yet correct opinion: 4/5

Own or rent?: hmm, depends on you i suppose.

Dag- 2 in 1 day...

Too good not to. Here: I love Onion. Period. Soon I will be able to pick up my very own copy in person and read it on the way to work and laugh out loud to disturb the other public transit users.

For now, enjoy the videos...

Doogie Howser -- where have you been hiding?

uh oh... i have found a gem. a true gem.

Neil Patrick Harris, I realize this proves to all that your career is officially washed up farther on shore than an Alec Baldwin or even a Mario Lopez.... but I appreciate your dedication to geekdom and to the wide world of cheap and accessible entertainment.

If you have 40 minutes, and I know you do, please just enjoy this piece of randomness and joy.

he IS bigger than his body gives him credit for...

john mayer


Set list:
Belief
Vultures
Crossroads
Daughters '74
Neon
Free Falling <~~~ gonna need to buy this one.
Another You
Stitched Up
Waiting on the World to Change
Ain't Nobody's Bizness If I Do
Good Love is On the Way
No Such Thing
Gravity
Say

Encore:
My Sweet Lord
Bigger Than My Body

words are sorely inadequate to describe the joy that is the JM concert. he is so fun... and if he wasn't so skinny i would want him all over. wait no, i still do. cough.

total chills count: perhaps 7
times i caught myself with my jaw on the floor: 10
the number of people that i had to call and gloat to: 3
the number of entire-song music messages I left: like 4.

some of his dialogue "between the lines" just got us all laughing at is stupid humor and lovable personality. he really loves what he does and happens to be brilliant at it. 20x better live than in studio- and who is surprised by that?! (the answer: no one.)

"man, it's a good feeling when after the first song in the set you can already feel the show is going to be a knockout..."

"when you don't like a song one way you just change it... fix it until you like it again. ya know- like Body is a Wonderland... you squeeze everything out of it that you can until it is a disgusting mess of pulp and skin... and rind..."

"it is amazing the power that comes with a microphone and speakers. i can say anything that it will get a rise out of you. here, let's try: i am almost out of clean socks!" (Audience erupts...)

"right here is why i shouldn't shop at GAP. (points at pants) these are great for working out in cause they make you go (makes a 'stuff getting sucked in' noise) and if you don't have pants that go (makes a 'stuff getting sucked in' noise) it is going to be a short workout!" (then he re-tied his drawstring)

"this is a fun show. i am really having a good time!"

...and yes, he skipped off stage. apparently he DID have a great time. john, i am glad you enjoyed yourself in the exclamatory state of utah... cause we sure did...

Colbie Caillat...

was stunning. another great artist that is fun to hear live cause she makes it new and present. i she is so cute i just sat and beamed for a good solid hour and loved every moment. she also loved her job and gave us a lot of behind-the-scenes info into some of the songs... i love that. she isn't much of a mover though, so when she asked us to "get up and dance with her" we all started tapping our thigh and looking at each other, "...like this?..."

Brett Dennen

the perfect opener. i wish his set could have been longer so more could see and enjoy the greatness that is brett- in live form. he kind of mumbles more when he's live, but his music is crisp and fun and created a great atmosphere we decided. i new i liked him before... and that will only grow...

oh- and i am going to be in california next week... and so is john. i think i might see him again... that's all i'm sayin...

I am Jo March... there, I've said it.

I hate to post so soon after Dark Knight because it would appear that there is a lack of respect there, but alas.
Must take time out for all forms of media-- that would include theatre.

Last night I saw Little Women at the Hale and I was very pleased. Why does this show always induce tears? I think it is partially because of how indulgently female the story is: family of girls live in a time where being outspoken or un-feminine in any way is abhorred, female writers are much harder to get published, and sibling issues/events with an already emotional/hormonal family of females can get pretty insane. I also just feel like I am Jo March at times. I have too many dreams at times about just publishing something great or feeling "Astonishing" in the world... or at anything. And I would just love to play that part. I sing those songs in my car at the top of my lungs and it reminds we why theatre is so great.

I also love the love stories that evolve in the show. They are so subtle, and my favorite song is at the end as the professor (whom she has a very platonic relationship with at the time) says, Hey we are two different people, but you make me laugh and smile and I feel pain when you aren't there...etc. So sweet and real. And yes, were it not a live, theatre piece, it would be a cheesy girlish movie that you might sit and mock because it couldn't be more cheddar. But this one will always be a favorite. I loved BYU's production of it when they did it this past year, but I think I even liked this one more because of the ability to attend to detail and reality emotion wise. Plus, the other show was far too long and had random dancers in it because they are political BYU and had to give people something to do so they can feel important about themselves. Whatevs.

adrenaline in pure form------ New Movie Review #5

Without allowing any previous knowledge from any outside source I scurried into my assigned seat at the 12:15am show. (Yes, we anxiously sat in out seats, with giddy fingers rocking back and forth with childish excitement)

I had heard things like, "his performance is Oscar-worthy" and "best work either of them (& Bale) have done..."

I caught myself with my jaw dropped on more than one occasion. Why?
1) I honestly had to remind myself that the man behind that brilliant make-up job really was Heath Ledger. It has been a long while since I have fallen in love with a villain because he is simply so brilliant at being one. But he is. I am convinced that his ratio of brilliant moments that were directed vs the moments that he invented on intuition were 90:10. What a loveable hated man. And it is such a contrast to his previous work that it does in fact stand out. I honestly believe that were he to live longer, he would've had been able to show us more of this side of him. The side that can morph into unsuspecting characters in the way that only Johnny Depp has been able to.


2) The FX in this film laugh at the first, less because they are finely crafted and real-looking CGI and more because they are just so unexpected. My small bladder could honestly barely take it.

3) Christian Bale, I think it goes without saying: you ARE Batman. The reality of all of the facets of his life unfold and the character is so much deeper now. Also a favorite is Commissioner Gordon whom you will eat up from the start. Maggie Gyllenhaal on the other hand, is a sketchy cast for me, (what with the saggy cheeks and awkward mouth movements and all) but she serves her purpose well enough so as not to distract from the angry men that we are so invested in. I mean, better than Katie Holmes, but this ain't no Star Wars III- no excuses for under-par performance.

My hands were tightly secured in my armpits for most of the duration of the film and when they weren't there, they were checking the underside of my seat-- I was sure it was hydraulicized. Honestly it was a ride, a never-ending-and-wished-it-wouldn't ride that was beautifully underscored by a sub woofer embedded in my seat. Lets put it this way: do not bring your 12-year-old boy to see Dark Knight unless you want to hear girlish squealing... it is called "dark" for a reason. You find yourself giddy and squirmy at every explosion and every bad guy that gets blown up... sure it's real good for teenagers. Here's me-- not caring.

My commitment I made this morning at 3:00am: I will see this film 3 more times in theaters, and any time following will be in an equally stunning, sound-infused/large screen environment... or forget it. It just wouldn't be fair-- even to the key grip.

In my humble, yet correct opinion: 5/5

Raising Arizona ----- Old School Movie Review #8

i love movies. there-- said it.


i can't help myself when they tell me that they are going to show fun movies-- outdoors-- at sundance-- for free.


thanks- i will be there.


last night i went and saw "Raising Arizona" and i have to say that the Coen brothers continue to entertain me. i love the humor in the over-dramatic stereotype of southwestern hicks. cage is so brilliantly white trash and the dialogue could be comprable at times to my Diablo Cody's wit. i enjoyed it thoroughly and will be attending many more of these films.

i thank you.

[Evelle is buying diapers]
Evelle: You know how to put these things on?
Grocer: Well, around the butt and up over the groin area.
Evelle: I know WHERE they go, old timer. I just want to know if I need pins or fasteners.
Grocer: Well, no, they got them tape-ettes already on there. It's self-contained and fairly explanatory.

Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees?
Nathan Arizona Sr: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"
Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it?
Nathan Arizona Sr: Oh, don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they wouldn't piss with their pants on fire.

Prison Counsellor: Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body?
"Trapped" Convict: Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.

the last line of the film (as he is dreaming about tons of kids and grandkids all around)
H.I: [thinking] If not Arizona, then a land not too far away. Where all parents are strong and wise and capable. And all children are happy and beloved. I don't know. Maybe it was Utah.

...for an audience of Utans (this one raised in AZ)... brilliant.